A Peering

Over the last few years, I have suffered sorrow and loss. I hesitate to write these words, yet find them necessary. When I go to revisit the online world and splash pixels across your screens once more, these ghosts haunt me and I cannot get past them. You each have your own crosses to bear, your own trials and tribulations and lives to live, so thank you in advance for your indulgence.

I wonder if anyone has missed my absence. I certainly miss yours. I write words daily even as I struggle to put these ghosts to rest.

I mentioned my father had passed away unexpectedly some time back. I thought he would outlive us all. When I had an idea, I would run it past him. When I celebrated successes or suffered loss, we celebrated and consoled each other.

Then, the hammer really fell.

Less than a year later, my mother died. I wondered how to process the loss of my mother, my greatest supporter, my greatest teacher. She nurtured and encouraged my creative spark in my youth and fed my voracious lust for books by weekly trips to the bookstore.

My mother had been dwelling just beyond death’s reach for some time and I thought I was prepared when she went, but that is merely a comfortable lie I told myself. I was crushed. When you pile misery on misery, you have to catch your breath. It’s like being punched in the gut after getting up from being knocked down. It takes some time to lick your wounds, gather the scattered pieces back up, and mend.

I’m still doing it. I reckon it’s gonna take some time.

However, it’s time to resurface. I’m getting restless. My words are wanting to get back out. I have projects to discuss. Stuff to get into the world.

I’ll be discussing some of this stuff and that stuff. Whatever.

As we move forward,  I’ll discuss what I’ve been up to on the writing front, rather than simply how I feel. I’m generally not one to wallow. (I hope you’ll indulge an occasional ramble, however.) I generally prefer forward motion and a steady path, though am never against a good mulling, even on the best of days.

I thought some of you might wonder if I’m still kicking about. I am. And I have thoughts about things.

Until next time, I bid you, dear reader, adieu.