Asari Chicks Dig Scars, Don’t They?

Today, we’re gonna talk about icons and canon and guess what, I’m not even gonna discuss Mass Effect 3, not yet. I’m messing with you the way some bean counter or such is messing with us all.

Yesterday, I learned two horrible things. Two of my favorite things were being screwed with- Star Wars and James Bond.

1. There is an obnoxious dance sequence in the new Kinect Star Wars game. I had heard about it a few weeks ago. Yesterday, however, I witnessed it and learned it was FAR, FAR WORSE than I could ever imagine. There was a Han Solo Auto-Tune song and you’re controlling him doing DDR all over the place. The song was bad. The lyrics were bad. And, most of all, I felt a bit of my childhood being destroyed. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think Lucas needs any more bank. He’s doing alright. Right?

2. Now, James Bond is a different story. You know I dig JB in all his various incarnations and iterations. Heck, Agents of Oblivion has homages to JB throughout and several to both the fictional character and his creator on the cover. And, guess what, James Bond will NOT be drinking martinis in the next movie. Thanks to good old product placement, he’ll be drinking beer, yup. A certain company whose beer I have enjoyed threw enough money at the studio to change one of the fundamental aspects of the character. Martinis exude style and sophistication. No matter how much you wanna dress up a beer, a cold one will still make me think of pool halls and halter tops.

Of course, these are make believe characters and the properties aren’t mine. Still, the reason these things got popular and become iconic is because they are a certain way, they struck a certain chord within us, and made us love them the way they were, scars and all. Han shot first. James Bond drinks his martinis shaken, not stirred. And I don’t want to hear any different.

Until next time, I bid you, dear reader, adieu!


6 Notes on, Asari Chicks Dig Scars, Don’t They?

  1. Preach on, brother!

    Admittedly, I did like how in Casino Royale, when asked if he’d like his drink shaken or stirred, he responded with, “Do I look like I give a damn?” I like the edgier, harder bond in these films, but beer is going too far.

  2. I’ll second Kristian’s remark. Those are just some things you shouldn’t mess with.

    Ahh well – such is life of modern media I suppose.

  3. With all the hard liquor Bond drinks, I would think he wouldn’t even get a buzz off of beer.

  4. The current James Bond does seem edgier. And the scene in Casino Royale when he put on the tux it seemed like this James Bond was out of his element. He is a bruiser, not the suave super spy of yesteryear. The beer drinking doesn’t bother me, what bothers me is overt product placement. We couldn’t just see in the movie he had a Heineken, we get to hear about it before the movie is even done. Lame.

  5. Remember in the 80s when they decided that he wasn’t going to be as much of a ladie’s man? Gonna have only one love interest, and even talked for a while of bringing her back for next movies….some things go against the Bond Establishment!

    Keep Bond, Bond!

  6. Ah but vodka martinis, rates like sand paper any ways. Yuk!

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