Asari Chicks Dig Scars, Don’t They?
Today, we’re gonna talk about icons and canon and guess what, I’m not even gonna discuss Mass Effect 3, not yet. I’m messing with you the way some bean counter or such is messing with us all.
Yesterday, I learned two horrible things. Two of my favorite things were being screwed with- Star Wars and James Bond.
1. There is an obnoxious dance sequence in the new Kinect Star Wars game. I had heard about it a few weeks ago. Yesterday, however, I witnessed it and learned it was FAR, FAR WORSE than I could ever imagine. There was a Han Solo Auto-Tune song and you’re controlling him doing DDR all over the place. The song was bad. The lyrics were bad. And, most of all, I felt a bit of my childhood being destroyed. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think Lucas needs any more bank. He’s doing alright. Right?
2. Now, James Bond is a different story. You know I dig JB in all his various incarnations and iterations. Heck, Agents of Oblivion has homages to JB throughout and several to both the fictional character and his creator on the cover. And, guess what, James Bond will NOT be drinking martinis in the next movie. Thanks to good old product placement, he’ll be drinking beer, yup. A certain company whose beer I have enjoyed threw enough money at the studio to change one of the fundamental aspects of the character. Martinis exude style and sophistication. No matter how much you wanna dress up a beer, a cold one will still make me think of pool halls and halter tops.
Of course, these are make believe characters and the properties aren’t mine. Still, the reason these things got popular and become iconic is because they are a certain way, they struck a certain chord within us, and made us love them the way they were, scars and all. Han shot first. James Bond drinks his martinis shaken, not stirred. And I don’t want to hear any different.
Until next time, I bid you, dear reader, adieu!